Ducks for the Weekend
by xovickixo
Summary: JONAS. "I'd like to cancel that order I just emailed you about. Yeah, for the 20 goats and the wheel barrel. It's not going to work out this time. But I still need the ducks for Saturday."
1. Duck Pond

**Disclaimer: I clearly do not own anything within...props to Disney and such.**

_A/N: So, episode 13, Kevin and the ducks he needed for Saturday. What did Kevin need ducks for?, I wondered. And then I started to think on it and this all happened._

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Stella was complaining, loudly, to Macy when the brunette spotted the eldest Lucas brother. "Hey, it's Kevin!"

"No it's not, don't change the subject," Stella snapped. "I don't want to walk anymore! These heals were not meant to be walked in for long periods of time! I'm supposed to stand around and look pretty in them! We're calling a cab and you're paying because not only are my feet killing me but I think my ears may fall off!" Stella stomped her foot and glared around the park that Macy said would be a short cut. She couldn't believe she'd agreed to walk to the mall when she had a perfectly good car sitting in her driveway.

Macy gave an exaggerated nod before tugging her friend off the path. "No, see, it really is Kevin!"

"Mace, you really need to drop the JON -- oh, hey, it is Kevin!"

Kevin was seated alone on a bench that was situated a few feet from one of the parks ponds. He was fully bundled up in winter wear and had a large bag sitting on his lap.

Macy made it down the hill first and waved cheerfully at Kevin.

"Oh, hey Macy!" Kevin said, turning his attention away from the pond and noticed the blonde as well. "And Stella too! What brings you two here today?"

"We're heading to the mall. What are _you_ doing here?" Stella asked.

"I'm feeding the ducks."

"Kevin," Stella started slowly, "it's almost December. There are no," but as Stella turned to see what Kevin had mistaken for ducks, she was shocked to see nearly a dozen of them swimming about. "Kevin, why are there ducks in the pond?"

Kevin pulled some more bread from the bag on his lap and tossed it into the pond. "I missed feeding the ducks so I rented some out for the day."

"Kevin, you can't just--!" Stella huffed and turned to Macy for backup but her friend was standing by the water cooing at the ducks. "You do know _why_ ducks migrate sou--"

"Of course! They migrate south for the warmer climate because in places like here the water becomes unbearably cold and usually ices over. There's also the issue of their primary food source becoming sparse in the colder seasons."

Stella blinked. "Right, well... Do you have any idea how cold that water probably is?!" Stella could already see the disastrous tabloid headliner.

"Yes, that's why I rented a water heater! It's like one of those things you use for hot tubs. See, it's over there by Mike. Mike is my duck wrangler." Kevin pointed towards a man Stella hadn't noticed standing thirty feet away.

"Kevin, you didn't heat the whole pond."

"I did! You can check yourself!"

Stella gave him a skeptical look but Macy was apparently game. She peeled off one of her gloves and dipped a finger in before shoving her whole hand in. "Wow, that feels nice!"

Stella stood there silently for another few moments and watched Kevin toss more chunks of bread into the pond. When she noticed Macy edging her way over to Kevin she finally spoke up. "Well, we gotta go now, Kev. We have a full day of shopping ahead for us. C'mon, Macy. Uh, have fun, Kevin."

"I always do!" Kevin chirped, waving at the two retreating figures.

"Oh, that's the sweetest thing ever!" Macy said as Stella dragged her away.

"Those boys have far too much money," Stella groused.

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Fin  
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_A/N: I completely acknowledge that it clearly wasn't winterish weather in ep 13...so, tweaked for my own selfish purposes._


	2. Rubber Duckies

_A/N: I'm going to label this as 'complete' but I'll add Kevin / duck ideas as they strike...and I fear they will strike._

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Kevin finished affixing a bandana on the last duck and placed it in the bathtub. "There, all done."

There was a long moment of silence before Frankie finally giggled and relented, "Ok, it's kind of awesome."

"So, am I forgiven?" Kevin asked as he dipped his hand into the tub and flicked water at the army fatigue wearing duck.

"Fine. I forgive you, Kevin, for loosing all my rubber duckies down the river." Frankie watched as the ballerina duck started nipping at the pirate duck. "Where did you get all these little outfits?"

"I had Stella make them for me."

For the first time since Kevin dragged him into the bathroom, Frankie finally looked away from the ducks. "Stella makes clothes for ducks?"

"Well...she doesn't realize it yet. I think it's a great market niche that could really explode."

"Right..." Frankie was tempted to ask how his brother had tricked the stylist into making the small outfits but was distracted by the ninja duck giving a loud quack and trying to take flight.

It took a few moments but Kevin managed to wrestle the duck back into the tub.

"Y'know I'm not taking a bath with them, right?" Frankie asked.

"Why not, they," Kevin started, as he looked into the bathtub. "Oh, yeah, ok. I totally see your point."

"You also know it's not me who's going to explain this to mom and dad, right?"

"Look, Frankster, it's going to be--"

"Boys! Why is there an empty crate in the livingroom?!"

Kevin winced at his father's tone.

"Oh, dear lord, I think there used to be animals in it!"

Frankie exchanged a brief look with Kevin, it was never a good sign when mom got that shrill.

"Kevin!"

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Fin (for now)

:


	3. A Work of Art

_A/N: It's 5:20 in the morning ... and I am posting this ... sleep, why have you forsaken me?  
Updated at 7:17 because apparently I shouldn't be posting things so early in the morning. Apologies to anyone who stumbled upon this earlier. _

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Nick knew that he should no longer be surprised by whatever he found his oldest brother doing but he still stumbled to a stop when he entered their room.

Ducks. There were real, live ducks running around their room.

_Kevin_.

Ok, there were only two ducks running about, there were five more though sitting on a green table that was normally not in the room. "Kevin, what are you doing?"

"I'm doing a project for art class," Kevin explained, making a run for one of the ducks waddling towards Joe's bed. Picking it up he brought it back to the central table. "We have to re-imagine a classical painting."

"A classical painting?" Nick questioned, staring again at the scene in front of him. Kevin's easel was set up again, this time facing what looked like a poker table, at second look, if the cards and chips were anything to go by. And, amoungst the mess, ducks. It struck Nick quite suddenly. "Wait, the poker playing dogs?"

"Yeah! I love that painting!"

"I," Nick started off but he caught the excited gleam in Kevin's eyes and trailed off in a quiet mutter, "I don't think this is what your teacher meant." Nick couldn't help it. It _needed_ to be said.

"Huh?"

It needed to be said but it didn't _need_ to be heard by Kevin. "Nothing." Nick grabbed up his guitar and started towards the stairs because he knew he wouldn't get anything accomplished if he stayed up there. He stopped just before the top step and turned back to Kevin, "You know I fully expect you to clean up all the duck poop before we go to bed tonight."

"Understood," Kevin said solemnly before dropping his paint palette again and running after another rogue duck.

Nick jogged down the stairs quickly and made a beeline for his dad who had his laptop at the dining table. "Are you aware that Kevin has 7 ducks running around our studio?"

Tom looked up and sighed as he rubbed his forehead. "Yeah."

Nick placed his guitar at the dining table before moving towards the kitchen. "He thinks the dogs playing poker painting is a 'classic' painting."

Tom nodded. "You know, those paintings _are_ over 100 years old."

"Wow. You're totally enabling."

"Just saying, if 100 years isn't classic than I don't--"

"Enabler," Nick accused again, shaking his head as he snagged a can of Diet Coke.

"Well, at least he's doing his homework," Tom defended, motioning to Joe who was sprawled on the couch playing video games.

"You do know you're the dad in this situation, right?"

"Well...yeah...but he says he's really stressed out and you guys have that big show next weekend..."

"Enabler."

"No!" Kevin's raised voice was suddenly heard from above. "Fire poles aren't for ducks!"

Nick turned just in time to see a duck land safely on the padding at the bottom of the poles. Walking back to the table, Nick reclaimed his guitar and shoved his unopened pop can into his pocket before moving towards the duck. He scooped the duck up and carefully smoothed its ruffled feathers out as he started towards the stairs. "Look, if you and your friends just sit and chill for a few minutes I think I can convince Kevin to take a picture and just paint from that. I could have you guys back to wherever Kevin got you from in half an hour."

"Ha! Who's the enabler now?" Tom called out.

Nick ignored him and called his own retort back, "Do your homework, Joe, or I'm calling mom!"

"Hey! Not cool, Nick! Not cool!"

Nick really wished that had been Joe and not his father but what could you do? "Kevin, you loose something?"

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Fin  
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_A/N: So, I've got 3 other duck ideas in the works. Anyone got a duck prompt they'd like me to write? I'd love to see where someone elses mind went when Kevin said he needed ducks for Saturday...and I'd further like to see if I could actually write it. Ta!_


	4. A Day at the Duck Races

_A/N: Rubber Duck Races are __**fun**__! My family attends annually. The crowning achievment of my youth was picking the winning duckie when I was six _:)  
_I fully recomend googling the races and seeing if there's one in your area. Also, real duck races are boring. Ducks don't do things on command, least of all swim. I remember the guy kept honking this horn at them in a bid to make them swim. I felt really bad for the poor little things._

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"Ow! Stupid duck bit me!" Joe shouted, jumping back from the crate and shoving his finger into his mouth.

"Did you at least get the last ribbon on it?" Kevin asked, glancing up from his clipboard.

"Why yes, my finger is fine. Thank you all so much, my caring brothers," Joe snarked, noticing that Nick was still leaning against bench.

"Joe, did you--"

"Yes! Yes, ok, they're all tagged and ready for the games!"

Nick glanced around the near empty park. "Remind me again why I'm helping you?"

"Because I let you place your bets first?"

"Oh, right."

Kevin's cellphone trilled, alerting him of a text message that he quickly checked. "Ok!" Kevin gave an excited bounce as he grinned at Nick. "All the ducks are marked and the last bet for the unspoken duck has been confirmed," he paused, and took a deep breath before nearly shouting, "I'm so excited!"

"Ow!"

"Stop touching the ducks, Joe," Nick said in a bored tone. Duck nips at your finger when you shove it into the crate then you don't shove your finger into the crate. Nick rolled his eyes and snagged the clipboard from Kevin. "So, duck races... That's new and exciting."

"Right?! I saw it on TV last week and needed to try it!"

"Y'know, I've heard of rubber duck races but not actual duck races."

"Oh, me too. I didn't have enough rubber ducks though and Frankie wouldn't lend me his."

"Are ducks diseased?!" Joe asked suddenly, studying his finger. "I don't want to get some kinda duck virus!"

Nick ignored Joe and pressed towards Kevin, "Why didn't you just buy some rubber ducks then? That had to be cheaper than the real thing."

"Maybe, but would it have been as much fun, Nick?" Kevin asked, finally bringing the crate to the water.

"Kevin has a point, Nick," Joe said, glancing up momentarily from his finger, "Sometimes you have to go all in for the good fun."

"On your marks, get set, go!" Kevin opened the crate and shooed all the ducks out and then waited. And waited some more. "Ok. Why are the ducks not swimming towards the finish line? The waters floating the right way, I checked!" Kevin crouched at the edge of the river and tried splashing the ducks. "Swim little duckies, swim!"

"I really should have seen this coming," Nick muttered.

"Wait," Joe said, finally finished complaining about his duck bites. "What if we yell at them?"

"Joe, that's a terrib--"

"AHHHHahahaha! It worked!" Kevin yelled, his scream having tapered into laughter at the ducks started down the river. He pumped his fist into the air in victory.

Nick noticed that not all the ducks were headed the right way. Number 5 had taken flight and 11 had passively ignored the whole outburst and remained where it was. Nick didn't care either way because neither of the ducks had been ones he'd placed his bets on.

"And they're off!" Kevin added, belatedly.

"So who's at the finish line waiting?"

"Stella, Macy and a few of the others."

"Well, why aren't _we_ there? That's where all the fun's at!" Joe pouted as he looked down the river.

"The golf cart, Joe, remember? I didn't just bring it because I thought the ducks would be heavy."

"Why don't we just walk?" Nick asked the obvious question. "Ducks can't swim _that_ fast."

"Golf carts make everything better!" Joe said as he started running to the abandoned JONAS golf cart.

"Even duck races!" Kevin added.

Nick shoved Joe out of the way and took man of the golf cart. The golf cart quickly caught up with the ducks. There seemed to a group of four ducks that had taken a strong lead over the rest of the group. "How are you planning on getting all the ducks back after they pass the finish line?" Nick questioned. "You do know this river empties into Great Bay, right?"

"Uh oh. I'm so losing my deposit on those ducks."

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Fin  
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_(If only Kevin had thought to hire Mike the Duck Wrangler...)_


	5. Duck, Duck, Goose

_A/N: Two little posts in one night...if only I wasn't supposed to be at school in five hours.  
__**suburbs**__, trying to figure out the logistics behind actually playing duck, duck, goose with actual animals was hard! So, I veered off..._

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"Hey dad, could you get me the President of Canada on the phone?"

Tom barely glanced up from his newspaper. "You mean the Prime Minister."

"No, I want to talk to the President of _Canada_. The Prime Minister is the guy in England."

"Yes and no. Canada also calls the guy in charge the Prime -- never mind. Why do you want to talk to Canada? You don't have to call them to tour up there. I can set up a few dates, March break is coming up in a few months and..." Tom trailed off and scribbled a quick note to himself.

"Well, tomorrow I'm having some ducks brought in."

"What?!"

"I'm having some ducks brought in," Kevin repeated himself in a tone that said this was the most normal thing in the world, "and I need one goose. I thought I could liven it up with a Canadian goose but the operator wasn't being helpful when I asked to speak to the President of Canada."

"Prime Minister," Tom mumbled as he rubbed at his face. "Why, Kevin? Why do you need Canada to give you a goose?"

"Oh, no, I just need one on loan! Geese are pretty loud. I don't think I could handle Joe **and** a goose in our room."

"Wait, you're planning on bringing a goose into our house?"

"Well, where else am I supposed to play duck, duck, goose?"

Tom hated the incredulous look Kevin was sending his way. His question was beyond valid, despite what his eldest thought. And then, quite suddenly, Tom got over the snarky teenager look he was receiving and actually realized what Kevin had said. "Wait, wait, wait. You plan on planning duck, duck, goose with actual ducks and a goose _in your room_?"

"Y'know, when I mentioned this to Nick he had more of a problem with the duck, duck, goose part. Which is ridiculous because who didn't like that game in grade school? I think Nick's just upset that I didn't invite him in on the fun."

"Yeah, that's probably it." Tom looked at his stack of newspapers. He really just wanted a quiet night to himself. Was it that much to ask? "You know what? I bet your brother, Nick, has the Prime Minister's number."

"Oh! Of course! Thanks, dad!" Kevin shouted, sprinting towards the stairs.

"Hey, know who would probably have fun with this?" Tom called after Kevin.

"You mean besides everyone?"

"Yes...besides them... Frankie. Frankie would have fun. It'd give the little guy something to do before his soccer game tomorrow."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Hello, Mr. Prime Minister? It's Kevin Lucas. Yep, from the band JONAS. Why thank you, sir. Actually, I was wondering if I could ask you a favor..."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Kevin got his goose delivered bright and early Saturday morning, an hour before the ducks arrived. It made for a great photo op before Tom shooed away the reporters and shooed Kevin and his new friends for the day to the roof.

It was all, quite literally, fun and games until the goose goosed Kevin on his bum.

Kevin didn't want to play any more after that. He'd always thought Canadians were supposed to be polite.

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Fin  
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_A/N: As if the goose could have helped itself! Also, eww, Prime Minister Harper. Boo. Hiss. I can't wait to be able to vote._


End file.
